Affirmation
by remember-nomore
Summary: Lindsey and Tara have a quiet night together. AU Preseason 5


_It's the little things that make everything fade, even for a little while_

Sighing Tara slowly got out of Lindsey's truck, she turned to close the driver's side door but it squeaked and stopped half way, refusing to budge anymore. Tara groaned and put her bag and jacket down onto the grass, using her full body weight to push the door closed.

"Come on…he calls you junk and rust, but I treat you nice." She grunted and kept trying to get the door closed.

Tara had hoped in some way that if she talked nice to it that it would work; apparently not. Lindsey cusses at it and kicks it and it listens. Talk nice to it and it argues with her.

Finally she gets the door almost all the way shut, there's a gap that only a few fingers can fit through but it refused to go any further.

"Fine." Tara glared at it, tempted briefly to stick her tongue out at it, and gave up. She turned and picked up her jacket and messenger bag to head into the small ranch house.

Pulling her keys from the door she walked over and put her jacket up on the coat rack next to the door. "Lindsey?" There was greeted with silence. Furrowing her brow she put down her bag in the living room on the couch; homework could wait till later, she decided.

Pulling a hair tie out of her front skirt pocket, she pulled up her hair up in a messy bun as she slowly made her way though the house. Lindsey wasn't anywhere to be found on the first floor, giving up she headed up to the small attic room that they had turned into a bedroom. As she neared the top of the stairs Tara heard a soft methodic sound that she'd know anywhere.

A small smile formed as she slipped her shoes off before heading further up the stairs, Tara loved hearing Lindsey play his guitar and didn't want to disturb him. She paused at the top of the stairs and listened for a moment before heading over to the small balcony where she could see him hunched over his guitar, his fingers gliding over the strings like silk.

"_And I found out a long time ago what a woman can do to your soul. Ah, but she can't take you anyway You don't already know how to go and I gotta peaceful, easy feeling and I know you won't let me down..._"

Tara leaned against the doorframe, tucking her hair behind her left ear before crossing her arms over her chest as she listened to him. It was moments like this that made everything worth it.

Watching his profile she just took him in, every feature and every line. Tara loved how he sat when he played, he was always slightly hunched over his guitar, and intently listening to the cords he played, his eyes closed as he felt the music. His medium length sun lightened hair falling into his face, the way it fell always made her resist the urge to run her fingers through it like she'd done so many times before. She loved how his tattoos peaked like a forbidden secret from the top of his button down flannel shirt that was barely buttoned.

She loved how his features would change when he sang; when he was in his element he didn't just sing, he felt what he was singing. The corners of his mouth would turn up at times. Tara even loved when he laughed, when he really laughed, small smile lines would form at the corners of his eyes.

Her thoughts were broken when he finished the song; he sighed and looked out at the water.

"Penny for your thoughts…" She winced when he jumped, not meaning to scare him. "Sorry…"

He smiled and stood. "It's ok darlin'." He put down his guitar and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her forehead and then her lips. He looked down at her and smiled. "How was class?"

"Finals should be over soon." She said as she rested her head against his chest, closing her eyes and inhaling his scent. He smelled of a mix of sandalwood and vanilla.

"Only two more then its summer break." She couldn't help but smile as she leaned back and looked up at him. "Then I can spend all day here, painting, with you."

"I'd like that." He kissed her forehead again, content for the moment to be with her. When he was with her he could forget about everything else, he could forget about the tattoos that kept him alive and hidden from his former employer, he could forget that he was a man that sold his soul for power and money. He wasn't Lindsey McDonald Wolfram and Hart attorney any more. He was just Lindsey, the boy who grew up in Oklahoma with a big family and caused his mother nothing but mischievous grief.

Taking a deep breath she sat back up and finally took in her surroundings. "Sweetie…" she said softly as she looked around the small balcony. He had set up a lounger with the big tattered, but warm, flannel blanket he had since childhood. Candles were all around that and along the balcony. She smiled when she saw that he had gotten a small bottle of strawberry wine for the two of them. There were also a few small trays of fruits, cheeses and other little snacks that he undoubtedly made just for her.

She turned and looked up at him. "This is so sweet. What's the occasion?" She asked softly, tilting her head slightly at him. He just shrugged and gave her a childish grin. She shook her head and laughed at him. "You didn't have to get the wine, I know you prefer whiskey."

"Tonight's special." She arched her brow and looked at him questionably. "One of the planets is supposed to be visible tonight." He shrugged sheepishly. "Thought we'd see it together." He grinned broadly at her. "Plus, you've been studying hard and you need a break." He shook his head. "Why does it matter? I just want to spend time with my baby. That's not a crime." He shrugged again.

"No it doesn't matter." She smiled and kissed his chin. "Thank you, that's sweet."

He pulled her over to the lounger, looking up briefly to see the sun starting to set. He sat back on the lounger, pulling her down onto the chair. Smiling she settled between his knees, resting her back against his chest. Lindsey wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled Tara closer to him, loving the feel of her soft curves pressed against him.

He bent forward and kissed her shoulder before resting his chin there. "I missed you." He murmured against her neck.

"I don't like when you stay in town after a long day of finals." He tightened his arms around her slightly. "I don't sleep."

Tara smiled softly at his words and took his hand and brought it to her lips. "Won't have to worry about that. I have two finals this week and none of them are late in the day."

"Good, now I don't have to pack a bag next week and go with you." Turning his head he reached over and with one hand he poured them some of the strawberry wine. He handed her a glass, leaving his on the table.

"I like this." Tara murmured after a long silence as they watched the sun set over the countryside. "Quiet time with you." She said simply.

He smiled and pulled her closer. "I do too." He took the glass from her, set it on the table and sat back in the lounger, pulling her with him.

He smiled when he saw the stars start to peak out into the darkening sky. "Show me the constellations again darlin'." He tried to hide the laugh in his voice. He loved her made up names for them and he always tried to come up with some better of his own.

She shook her head and looked up, raising her arm she pointed to a small cluster of stars. "That there, that group of maybe twelve stars…small school of fish."

"Ohhh, I see…" He said, a smile could be heard in his tone.

"Over there," she moved her finger over and down a bit. "that's a…umm…hmmm. That's a birdhouse. See there's the body and then up there is the peak." She used her pointer finger to trace the outline within his sight.

He laughed and kissed her ear. "My girl is too cute." He sighed and leaned back contently.

"Like you could do better?" She teased him, loving the names he would come up with.

"Well." He said in a teasing tone as he looked up at the sky. "See those," He pointed over to the right at a long line of stars. "That's a sword, a European Gladius sword to be exact."

Tara smiled as he looked around. "Ohh."

He pointed up excitedly at a large cluster of stars. "That's the dragon that it was used to slay." He turned and looked down at her as she looked up at him with amusement. "That sword is great when killing Gacknar demons." He giggled like a kid and wrapped his arms around her tighter. "See, my way is more fun."

Tara shook her head and laughed. "I wonder about your age sometimes." She leaned up and kissed his nose before turning back and settling against his chest. She shivered from the cool breeze and he pulled the blanket from behind him and put it over their legs. He pulled her back and she shifted slightly as she found herself comfortable in his arms.

Lindsey sat back, gently stroking her hair, as he looked at the stars. Feeling very content with where he was at the moment. Contentment was a feeling he never thought he'd have when he was at the firm; it seemed even more fleeting when he left and they started sending people after him.

He absently scratched one of the tattoos on his arm, he thought about when he went to Tibet to find the demon he heard about that could do the ruins tattoos that would keep him from being found. Getting his hand cut off was nothing compared to getting the tattoos, three days, two bottles of whiskey and nearly half the volume of blood in his body he was covered and undetectable. Lindsey stayed there for nearly three months recovering, he also took that time to train with new weapons and he studied a decent amount of magic with the monks. If they found him by some chance then he was going to be prepared, he wasn't going down without a fight.

Reaching over he grabbed a few grapes, popping them in his mouth he looked down at Tara and smiled, he remembered like it was yesterday when they met. She worked at the library and he came in looking for books on swords and medieval weapons.

After coming in there for nearly a month and talking to her almost daily he asked her to lunch. She accepted and they've been together ever since.

He had been scared to tell her about his past, the truth and not what he told the locals if the question came about.

She had found some papers one time when they'd stayed up all night at his place talking. He decided it was time to come clean, he told her everything. He told her all about Holland Manners coming to him his sophomore year at Hastings and hand picking him to join the firm, to his vendetta against Angel. He even told her about Darla.

When he finished telling her everything he prepared himself for her to be disgusted and walk out of his life, but again, like the day they met, she surprised him.

He smiled to himself when he remembered she just kissed him and said it was ok. He had looked at her and wondered if she was an angel. He wondered if she was sent to him by The Powers to fill the emptiness inside that he'd had for so long he'd long since forgotten it.

With Tara around Lindsey looked over his shoulder less, but he would find himself looking every so often. It wasn't to see if anyone was after him, but he now found himself making sure they didn't come after her. That would be something the firm would do if they found out where he was. They would come after her because that's all he has left save for a few scattered siblings. His sister Jo being the closest living in Lexington.

He sighed contently and just enjoyed the moment, one of the things she taught him in the time they were together was: If you keep looking for the bad things they'll find you.

"Lindsey?" she murmured a while later as they watched the stars and sipped the wine.

"Hm?"

"Do you believe in fate?" She asked carefully.

"Never did, I always thought it was for fools. My life before, when I was working at the firm, all I saw was people doing anything to get ahead." He sighed. "I was one of them."

"Oh." Her tone was slightly dejected.

He tightened his arms around her and kissed her neck. "But you changed that." He rested his chin against her shoulder. "When you walked into my life that day everything changed. Even me."

She smiled softly. "You're not the only one that changed Lindsey. I love you."

"I love you too darlin'."


End file.
